Syikin Kassim. Very much in ♥ with Faizal Alwai. Sometimes when i'm bored, i draw people in my head.
I listen to music a lot but the best times are usually when i'm on the bus, or train, or even, on the bike.
I don't think many people know about me because I keep a low profile.
I wish I were somebody else, maybe superman perhaps, my red cape in the wind, ever so free. My blog is a collection of my perspectives,
thoughts and emotions. I write when I write, what I write. Your criticism is not welcomed. Thank you.
Some experiences are painful to remember because, as you look back on them, you see how you could have spoken or acted otherwise, or how you wish things would have turned out differently. The purpose of these memories is to instruct you, not torment you.
The recent major blow that happened to me is about my Dad. Last Friday, Kak Norli texted me and told me abt Ayah’s condition. His is prostate cancer, stage 4. So here it goes. There’s nothing much you can do at stage 4 because it’s the final stage. For my dad, his minimum life span is six months and maximum of two years. Yes girls, if you realised, I’m losing my dad in this short period of time. The doctor gave him two options. 1. To go for surgery. 2. To undergo chemotherapy. At the age of 66, I’m not sure how he’ll be able to cope with the side effects for both options. In addition to that, he has a history of heart attack. I don’t want to see him suffer and go through pain. On Sunday, we had a family discussion which Ayah made his decision in front of us. He decided not to go for either option. I respect his decision but what saddens me is that by not going for either option, the cancer cells will spread faster. However, even if he were to go for them, the cancer cells have already spread to his bones. So, I have to leave it to the man up there and just got to be prepared for the worst.
Treasure your loved ones who have been there for you, who never give up on you. Especially your parents. Spend more time with them, okay. Fortunately for my dad, he knows how much time he has left. Unfortunately, it’s too early for him to go. The only daughter of Kassim Ahmad and Norhati Nordin have yet to graduate from school, earn a living to carry out her responsibility as a daughter and being able to repay their never ending hard work, hard ships that they had to go through and perseverance to bring me up. He have yet to see me get married, when he can finally step down from carrying such a big responsibility to take care of me ever since I was born and witness the birth of his grandchild.
I’m coping well girls, trying to get hold of everything, only thing that I cannot help but break down each time I think of Ayah and the condition he is in currently.
Tomorrow will be the start of Ramadhan. I believe my girls are grown-ups now. No more half-day or off day ahh, except for best friend period. Selamat menjalani ibadah puase. Seriously, you’ll find a greater meaning to it if you carry it out sincerely.
See? My reasons are getting better and better right? Haha. Ok nonsense.
So yeah. Weekends was spent at work. I need to work my ass off because my last pay I only get $200 thereabout. Pathetic much? Because last month I skipped work a number of times because of the MBS opening and attending family&friends functions. I am not lying, I am not joking, I fucking seriously need my $250 back. I cannot depend on faizal, right. Even if i can, but I choose not to.
We didn’t really celebrate our sixth because I was sick. Pfft. ):