hello my beautiful princesses.

yes,

1)i've privatised my blog.
2)i'm backing out.
3)life goes on.

this is going to be the last time you'll hear me rant about this. truth is, im affected by her actions. instead of saving our relationship, she's only making things worse. how much am i worth in her eyes. i dont know. remember few months back? on my birthday? outside zirca? how excited i was to see her that i cried? i dont know if those tears are worth it. i've tolerated with her for the longest time. and i guess she too, must have felt the same way. truth is, we humans, never fail to make mistakes. is it wrong that i spend more time with my boyfriend? maybe she's not used to it cause i nv fail to be there for her the last time. and last time, she got asy. now the table have turn. if others can understand, why not her. in fact, she should be happy for me. since she "chooses" someone who label me as a bitch and everything else, im backing out. goodbye.

and so, i decided to move on. i hope to be able to update my blog regularly from now on. jgn jelak pulak eh. hehehe. best tau ade private blog. it's only between the three of us. oh, sekarang jer ive got things to tell you. you know that amalina? hazril's gf. they broke up, and patched. my friend, who is in np and in their malay cultural group also, told me they broke up because.. hazril pergi hotel dgn ppn lain. oooh, bitchy kan. so raudah, its not your lost. budak dk nie sume.. mmg mcm SIAL. amalina also ever got jealous over me. over a small matter. just because my friend asked her whether she knows me or not. and on hazril's birthday, i went to the zoo. i was with faizal when i saw them both. hazril looked at me but i just stared and looked away. i also heard hazril is the kind yg mintak amalina duit and si amalina bodoh nie pulak gave him. asl budak2 andika perangai mcm tu eh? heran ahh.

currently, im at home. tk pergi tarian cause m-a-l-a-s. need i explain more? hehe. will be fetching faizal later. in the meantime, tktau nk buatpe. nk pergi karaoke. tapi tkn srg2. da tkd duit nie. mlm nie baru gaji masok. b-o-r-i-n-g.

truth is, i miss you.
truth is, what you did really disappoint me.


i wont say anymore.
disappointment explains it all.

Where should I start?


Life has been pretty good.. Thanks to the man up there. Because of faith, I have Baker with me. I am not hoping nor am I moving too fast, but I leave it to Him. Maybe, just maybe, you might wanna know how he’s been treating me. He takes good care of me, always trying his best to make everyday beautiful, worth and complete. I am not boasting that is why I prefer not to write every detail about us here but I am proud, to have him.


And maybe, I’m thinking too much about this whole shit. Pardon me, but I wish all of you, my party people, all the best, enjoy life and be happy. Of course I miss you guys and those late night parties, those bitching, those drinking sessions, and never ending camwhoring (thanks to Syila and Ira digicam). Party people, you guys will be fine without me. Last thing to note, I treasured those moments and you people will always be in my heart. <3


BabyG, (I don’t think I still own that title but anyway), this is for you. Here’s what happen to us (I think). I think I owe you a lot of explanations why I didn’t turn up for pit, party and chalet. Truth is, Baker never help me decide whether to go or not when it concerns you or the party people. Truth is, it was never about him. I didn’t turn up for pit because like I told you beforehand, I was visiting my brother. And fetching Baker from work. So, in between, I thought I could spare spend time and come down for the pit. But I was really squeezing for time. But did you even text or call me? No. So I assumed, you don’t bother. I didn’t turn up for party because I had to work 8am shift on the next day and because I already decided, this may depend on individual but to me, club can wait. What matters most is to get Baker’s trust, which I think I haven’t done enough. Even if this relationship works out or not, I’m putting my heart and soul into it. Truth is, I was never happy to see you and Dayah hitting off so well. Yes, I know you know her way before all this shit happens. But I don’t understand why you have to comment on her fb, get involve in conversations which you don’t have to be involve as if she’s your babyG, even after we talked about it. Worse, none was made to mine. Look, I never intend to bring this up because I know, I have no say who should you talk to or not. Right from the beginning of our friendship, i never stop you, dear. I never did. I was a little disappointed but if it makes you happy, I have nothing to say. If you wish to know about why I hate Dayah so much. It was not because she used to date Adam or Faizal. It was not because of jealousy. It was not about revenge. But we all know her character well. She would date guys, dumped them and talked behind their back. I don’t want the same thing to happen to Faizal. And Adam, I wasn’t with Adam when they dated, but Adam was still using me, my money. I don’t blame her about Adam’s case. Cause I don’t even care, now. Only God knows what Adam told her about me. The whole thing about this girl is, she don’t deserve Faizal, that’s it.


And why was it Ira and not you who text me to come out and party, Raudah and not you who text me to come down for chalet? I never turn up for chalet because I felt, why I should when my presence is not appreciated by my own BabyG. Like I’ve said, maybe I’m thinking too much, so pardon me. But I’m just telling you how I feel all this time. The awkward feelings and such, which should never exist. But why this happens. Because your actions freak me out that sometimes, I feel it’s better for me to remain silent. Well you know, that’s me. I don’t want to let something minor to become a big hooha. And I know you will be fine. You have a whole lot of them with you, the party people, the reunion gang, I won’t be much of a bother to you.


I’ve said whatever that is needed. Whatever happens tomorrow, we’ll take it from here. I leave it to the man up there.